[rl with remus -- together again]

[why_so_me]

Sirius was not someone who was easily nervous. It was part of being the ever-cocky Gryffindor -- he had enough ego and enough stupidity not to let himself be afraid of anything.

But...this was different.

It had surprised and delighted him when Remus said that he wanted to be with him again. He didn't mind promising to take it at Remus' pace, because it still meant they were together again. That aching, nagging feeling of loss that had been with him since that one night when he'd sent Snape to the Shack was gone. He loved Remus more than he could comprehend, and having the sentiment returned was more than he deserved.

So it left him with some nervousness now that it was their first night...well, alone together since their split. They were walking through the hidden passageway to the Shrieking Shack, and in Sirius' chest, his heart pounded like a furious drum. He wasn't sure what would happen or what Remus would want, but he didn't care so long as he was with him.

As they walked through the passage, Sirius' fingers stayed interlaced with Remus' the entire way there.

Comments

[lycanthropy101]

Remus could feel that Sirius was nervous. Hell, he was nervous himself. But it'd been long enough since they'd gotten together again that Remus...was ready. He'd been physically ready for a while, but emotionally. It'd taken some working up to. Trusting Sirius again enough to open himself up to the other completely took some effort. And he was almost sure that it would be awkward at first, even though they'd done this before. Because effectively, this was their first time all over again.

He squeezed Sirius's hand in return as they neared the shack, deciding it was best to speak up and poke fun at their nerves, in hopes of getting over them. "I hope you're not getting second thoughts now..." he said, with a small smile, as they started to push their way through the door into the shack.

[why_so_me]

Sirius smiled a bit, returning the squeeze of the hand. "Me? Not on your life," he said as they walked through the door, though his heart beat a bit more anxiously as they crossed the threshold. The fact that the Shack had a bed in it hadn't escaped it, nor had the fact that there was little to no chance that anyone would bother to disturb them at all while they were there. "After this long, I'll take any chance we can for some time with just us."

[lycanthropy101]

Remus smiled slightly, flushing a bit as well. "It... It has been a while, hasn't it?" he asked, stepping across the threshold and going to lead Sirius up to the bedroom, where the bed was - possibly the only piece of furniture left in the place that wasn't torn to pieces and might actually be comfortable. He ducked his head as they walked, deciding it was better to be vocal about his feelings in that moment than not. "You know, it's ridiculous to be nervous right now. It's not like we haven't done this before, but..."

He shrugged, flushing and falling silent as he continued leading the way to the place. They hadn't even shared a bed for the whole night, yet. Just small kissing here and there. Taking things slow. Both of them had had enough of taking things slow, and yet. Well, it made Remus nervous with anticipation anyway.

[why_so_me]

Sirius smiled, looking towards Remus. "But it's been a year," he said, quiet and nervous but also a little excited. "And...I guess we're still getting used to being together again." He didn't say what he suspected was also true: that Remus was still wondering if this was a mistake, if taking Sirius back again had been a terrible idea. Which made him all the more anxious to prove that he was worth the risk, that things were different now.

"This'll be nice, though," he said, running his thumb over Remus' knuckles as he followed.

[lycanthropy101]

Once the pair of them reached the bedroom, Remus led Sirius inside, closing the door behind them and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "Well..." he said, with a smile and a blush. "Here we are then." He tried not to think too hard about how long it'd been since they'd done anything like this. Since Sirius had seen him with his clothes off. He'd retracted whatever viewing rights of his body Sirius had had as soon as the Prank had happened, and well. It'd been over a year. A lot had changed with him physically since the last time. They were growing up, after all.

He smiled slightly, blushing up at Sirius, cocking his head at him slightly. "...well then. Here we are."

[why_so_me]

He chuckled, but it was a nervous gesture at that point. Sirius' heart was beating even faster in his chest, and it was part anxiety and part excitement, but all of it was anticipating what came next with a breathless eagerness. Mostly, what he felt was want, because it had been so long since he'd been able to touch Remus freely, to have time alone with him to do as they wanted.

Sirius sat next to Remus on the mattress, settling on its surface before leaning closer to the other boy and wrapping one arm around his waist. When he leaned into kiss Remus, it was slower, deeper than the kisses he'd shared with him since that night in the hospital wing. He wanted to savor this, and savor the feeling of Remmus in his arms once again.

[lycanthropy101]

Remus leaned into the other boy's touch, not minding the fact that Sirius wanted to savor what they were doing. It would give the butterflies in his stomach a chance to cool down as well. He shifted slightly, aligning his body with Sirius's a little better, bringing up a hand to rest on the other boy's shoulder gently, bracing himself as he kissed back. Honestly, the pair of them hadn't really done much more than a few brief kisses and cuddling here and there. For one, because it was all they had time for, all they could sneak in when they managed to find a moment or two alone to themselves. But for another, it was because...they were nervous. Remus was nervous.

What if things were different, now? What if Sirius realized that he hadn't been worth the wait after all? What then? Remus didn't exactly consider himself up to the same par as Sirius, in looks or in social status or in popularity or in cleverness, or well. Anything, really. What if Sirius came to that conclusion as well? What then?

[why_so_me]

If only Remus could read minds, he'd know that Sirius' thoughts strayed far to the opposite. He felt such a giddy rush from being able to kiss Remus again, from feeling him warm and close and returning his touch. It felt too good to be real, in a way, after he'd spent so long half-convinced that things had been spoiled for good, that Remus couldn't possibly want him again.

He let the kiss deepen slowly, he lips parting enough that he slid his tongue into the other boy's mouth, slipping inside and tasting him. One of his hands went to Remus' lower back, gently pulling him closer so that their chests nearly touched.

[lycanthropy101]

It was good that Sirius wasn't too concerned with all of this. There needed to be at least one of them that wasn't worrying too hard to really enjoy themselves. Remus was thinking far too hard for it to be him. Luckily, Sirius was there to step up and do the actioning for him.

At the pulling him closer, Remus didn't fight it, instead moving his hand up to grip Sirius's shoulder gently, before trailing up to cup Sirius's cheek, running through his hair slightly, then back to the side of his face.

[why_so_me]

Sirius hummed contently at the gentle touches to his face and hair, the sweet feeling of Remus' hands on him once again. His own hand trailed along Remus' back, his thumb sliding along his spine and shoulder blades, tracing his body. Even though it was still Remus, he had grown a bit, and it was strange to feel the changes under his fingertips.

For a moment, he hesitated, wondering how fast to move...but after a moment's thought, he let his free hand slide under Remus' shirt, curiously feeling the skin of his torso.

[lycanthropy101]

Remus jumped a little at the touch of Sirius's hands sliding under his shirt, pulling back a little. Not completely, but a little. He was self-conscious about the changes to his body. Not just the light dusting of chest hair that he'd grown (thankfully whatever horrible rumors there were about werewolves and body hair were untrue), but the scars. He'd spent a full year of pretty horrible transformations without Sirius around, and there was only so much magic could do in terms of healing.

He flushed at his reaction, smiling sheepishly at Sirius to show that it was alright, they could keep going, even if he was a little uneasy about his body. "Sorry..."

[why_so_me]

Sirius blinked for a second, then shook his head. "Don't be," he said, pulling his hand away. "You -- I don't want to do anything if you're not okay with it." He knew that he had gotten the sense that they would be doing more than just kissing, but the last thing he wanted was Remus trying to push himself into doing something he didn't want or wasn't ready for. Whatever they wound up doing, he wanted Remus to enjoy it.

[lycanthropy101]

Remus shook his head quickly. "No, it's... It's not that I'm not okay with it. It's." He sighed. "It's silly, to be nervous of you seeing me undressed. I mean. It's not like you haven't seen it before, but. It's... It's different now. I..." He took a breath, sighing slightly. "But it's fine. Really it is. Here..." He smiled at Sirius. "Keep going, it's alright. I. I trust you," he said, reaching out to run his hand through Sirius's hair, encouraging him. "I promise I want this, just. Go slow with me."

[why_so_me]

"Alright," Sirius said, wearing a small but nervous smile. "Just...just tell me if something's not okay, though, alright?" As he said it, his hand slid back, reaching under Remus' shirt to slowly trace along his stomach.

He knew Remus had been insecure about his body even before their split, but he couldn't imagine not wanting the other boy like crazy. Sirius knew he would have more scars, but that didn't scare him -- when his fingertips brushed along some healed marks, they ran along the toughened skin curiously and unafraid. While he did, he leaned in again, this time to press his lips to the corner of Remus' mouth, and then his jaw, before pressing a long, lingering kiss against the skin of his neck.

[lycanthropy101]

Remus relaxed into the other boy's touch, especially at the kiss on his neck. He turned his head sideways and pressed a kiss against the side of Sirius's head, running his hand from Sirius's hair down his back to his waist where he held on firmly. His own hand found its way to the hem of Sirius's shirt before he slid his hand under that as well, lightly tracing the skin of Sirius's lower back with his fingers.

[why_so_me]

Sirius hummed in enjoyment at the touch to his back, liking the feel of Remus' hands on him. It had been so long since he and Remus had touched each other with any sort of intimacy, and part of him had to resist the urge to rush into it headfirst, doing everything all at once.

His fingers climbed higher along Remus' skin, tracing his abdomen and the lines of his ribs, the fabric of Remus' shirt sliding up with his hands. He felt different to the touch than before, but all it did was make him curious, eager to map out all the changes of Remus' body with his fingertips.

The kiss on Remus' neck slowly grew more intense, and he sucked lightly on the skin of his throat, wanting to see the light mark on him the next day and know it was his. As his hands slid higher, his thumb gently flicked at Remus' nipple, toying with it.]

[lycanthropy101]

Remus sucked in a breath at the touch of the other's thumb, rough on his skin, but it wasn't a bad thing. Remus's hand tightened in on Sirius's back, his nails scratching gently as the other sucked on his skin as well. Once again, not a bad sign. But a sign that Remus was being sensually stimulated. And that he wanted more.

[why_so_me]

[Sirius liked the nails on his back; they made him feel bolder, especially with Remus so clearly responding. He continued to suck at the skin of Remus' throat, his lips moving lower to where Remus' neck met his shoulder. One hand toyed a little more with Remus' nipple, thumbing it a little more deliberately, while he free hand moved beneath them, sliding down Remus' body. It sunk until he was lightly rubbing his thumb over the fabric of Remus' pants, in the space in between his legs.]

[lycanthropy101]

Remus let out a noise that could only be described as a keen, and he flushed mightily in response to it but still pressed forward to meet Sirius's hand. He kneaded the flesh and muscle of Sirius's back under his hands, before he snaked his hands around to start removing Sirius's shirt. He wanted it off, he wanted to let himself admire the other boy's body in a way that he hadn't let himself do in a longer time than he cared to consider.

[why_so_me]

Sirius let out a muffled, excited moan at the pressure of Remus' hands on his muscles, massaging him and loosening his back. When Remus went for his shirt, Sirius reluctantly moved away from the other boy's body only long enough to pull his shirt over his head, letting it fall gracelessly onto the floor. With his chest bare, he shifted closer again, pressing a heated kiss to Remus' lips as he did.

[lycanthropy101]

Remus let himself go a little, kissing Sirius back and shifting closer to him and sliding his hands over Sirius's body, admiring the countours and dips of his body, his blunt nails tracing patterns in the other boy's skin as he does so.

[why_so_me]

Sirius groaned, enjoying the rough feel of Remus' nails trailng along his body -- he wouldn't mind a bit if he woke the next day with lines running across his skin as a memento. His hands went to work, moving in between their bodies and undoing the button of Remus' trousers, pulling the zipper open before tugging at them by the belt loops and urging them over Remus' hips.

[lycanthropy101]

Remus shifted to allow for the other boy to get his trousers down and off, flushing slightly again as he did so but letting Sirius get on with it anyway. He moved and brought his hands to Sirius's trousers themselves, but after he got the fly open, instead of working them off right away instead he worked his hand inside Sirius's pants, cupping the other boy's arousal in his hand as he did so. No going back now.

[why_so_me]

Sirius let out a sharp, sudden gasp then melted into a groan, his hips rolling towards Remus' hand without him meaning for them to. "God, Moony," he said breathlessly, his voice dripping with want, and it took all his concentration to make his hands move, pulling at the fabric of Remus' shirt to tug it upwards.

[lycanthropy101]

Remus shifted, letting Sirius pull his shirt up, reluctantly letting go of Sirius's arousal so that he could get the thing up and over his head. Once that was done, though, he settled in for the long haul, tugging at the fabric of the waistband of Sirius's trousers and underwear. This all needed to come off now.

[why_so_me]

Sirius raised his hips, making it easier to pull his trousers away. His heart was beating fast and he felt adrenaline rushing through him as he let himself look over Remus' naked body. God, but the sight of him was amazing -- Sirius reached up to trace along Remus' chest, feeling along his skin and growing hungrier for more before tilting his head up, pressing a greedy kiss to Remus' lips.

[lycanthropy101]

Remus kissed Sirius back before pulling back from the kiss. "...is. Is this alright?" Remus asked softly. "Is this... Are you okay? With this? You see, the thing is..." He swallowed hard. "I don't know that I'll be able to stop myself if we go any further than this. It's. It's been a long time, Sirius."

[why_so_me]

Sirius smiled a little bit before leaning closer for a moment, kissing the side of Remus' jaw. "'Course it's alright," he said, his voice low and warm and happy. "Don't hold back. I don't want you to hold back."

[lycanthropy101]

With a noise that was far too close to a growl for Remus's tastes (though he made it nonetheless), Remus flipped their positions, pinning Sirius down on the bed and propping himself up on top of Sirius, aligning their bodies just so. "Then I won't," he said, kissing him on the lips once more before he started to trail kisses down the other's body, towards his arousal.

[why_so_me]

Sirius couldn't help the short noise of surprise as Remus took over, nor could help the way the blood in his veins ran hotter and faster at Remus' sudden dominance. At the feel of Remus' lips sliding lower, he groaned, his hand finding its way to the back of Remus' head as he groaned out, "God, Remus-"

[lycanthropy101]

And that was all the encouragement that Remus needed to keep going down further on Sirius's body, placing a kiss on the lowest most tender part of Sirius's stomach, nipping there slightly, before pulling his head back and sucking the tip of his arousal into his mouth. Remus had done a lot of growing up in the last year or so that they were apart, as it were.

[why_so_me]

Sirius let out a low, needy, pathetic noise at the kiss on his stomach, which slid into a low gasp as Remus' mouth descended onto his arousal. "Holy hell," he managed to groan out, fighting to keep his hips from rolling towards Remus, his free hand twisting in the sheets underneath him as he tried to keep some semblance of control over himself.

[lycanthropy101]

Remus didn't want to admit how he'd learned about these things - that he'd had a few casual flings over the summers and the school year in between then and now, with random boys that never amounted to much more than a quick shag here and there. It wasn't what he'd wanted - what he'd wanted was Sirius - but he had learned a thing or two from it all. Glad to see that Sirius was quite obviously enjoying it, though, he swallowed Sirius as deep as he could, hollowing his cheeks out and pulling back all the way up Sirius's length until he finally released off of the end with a pop of suction. He was good at this, if he did say so himself.

[why_so_me]

It didn't cross his mind to wonder where Remus had learned all this -- it wouldn't until much later, because right then he was too caught up in the surge of blood through his body and the warmth of Remus' mouth. He let out a moan that shifted to almost a whine as he released his arousal, his hips rolling towards Remus as he did.

[lycanthropy101]

Remus could see that he was having an effect on Sirius with what he was doing and it aroused him more than he could express. He reached out to put a hand where his mouth was for a moment, stroking Sirius slightly as he spoke up and asked, "...what do you want to do, here, Sirius?" The sky is their limit, as it were.

[why_so_me]

Sirius' breath evened out, though his arousal ached from wanting more of Remus' touch. "I want...I want you," he said, his voice low and husky, "I want you in me."

Remus had clearly learned a lot -- he would worry about where later, but for now he was too caught up in the feel of his hands and his body. He wanted to let Remus have control, to let Remus be able to do what he wanted -- and he was interested to see this new, less inhibited side to him.

[lycanthropy101]

They would cover the where later. And Sirius probably wouldn't like it. But it was in the past, and Remus couldn't say that he regretted the experiences, especially since they just added to this one. He nodded, moving to pull out his wand and murmur a charm, his hand and his own arousal suddenly coated with lubricant.

"Don't tense up," he warned the other boy, before he slipped a finger inside of him. It'd probably been a while for Sirus, and even though they'd done things before, he wanted to go slow.

[why_so_me]

Sirius was about to say he wouldn't, until he felt Remus' finger slide inside of him, and his words melted into a low groan. His body was going to need to adjust to this -- he hadn't even thought of touching anyone else since Remus, and he knew this would take adjusting.

Still. He wanted this, he wanted it like this, and he'd let himself adjust to the feel of Remus inside of him.