RL with Remus

[why_so_me]

They day after the virus, Sirius was in the Gryffindor dormitory, curtains to his bed drawn. Inside, he was supposedly working on an essay that was due for Prof. Flitwick about Summoning Magic, and he did indeed have his books open and a quill scrawling across parchment. However, his handwriting had devolved into illegible blots of ink and long scratches that nearly tore through the page. Sirius barely seemed to notice.

He hadn't talked to Remus or James or Peter or really anyone since waking up that morning. It was plain he was in a terrible mood, but he refused to let anyone in on what had happened. Even alone in his room, he glared at the paper.

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[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus shook his head. "Getting into danger once a week is a little excessive, Pads. I don't think that even the Werewolf Man could do that much rescuing of you. You'll have to tone down the getting into trouble if you want our plan to succeed, here," Remus said, with a grin.

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

"But Moony, how can I be a proper damsel in distress if I'm not constantly in danger?" Sirius asked, batting his eyelashes as though he were seriously some coy comic book heroine. "Besides, it's not my fault I'm constantly being endangered by the forces of evil."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus gave Sirius a look at the batting of the eyelashes. "Last time I checked, or rather, last time you assaulted us with parading around absolutely starkers, you were no damsel, Sirius, in distress or otherwise."

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

"You say that like you didn't enjoy every second of it," Sirius teased. "Fine, not a damsel. Er...there's got to be a male word for damsel. Hm."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus actually thought about that one, but then shook his head, laughing. "I'm pretty sure the males of the fairy tales were always the ones doing the rescuing, Pads, not the ones waving their handkerchiefs out of tower windows for knights to come and save them. At least, not traditionally speaking, at any rate."

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

"True, but I have no damsels to rescue, so it's not like I can be a knight either," he said, chuckling. "Tell you what, we can switch weeks, and you can be the damsel every other week and I'll save you from whatever villains and scum want to do evil things to you."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus shrugs. "I suppose I could make that deal. Though I'd honestly prefer not to have any villains and or scum wanting to do any sorts of evil things to me, if I can help it at all. I rather like not having to deal with any of the above mentioned issues, I have enough to worry about as it is."

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

"True, true," Sirius said. "But that's the noble life of the hero-slash-damsel, always wanting things to go back to normal right before they're either locked in some large cage over a pit of acid or have to rescue them from said cage."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus shook his head, dropping the analogy, knowing that Sirius could keep going on for hours if he humored him. He had, before, and the effort it took had been pretty remarkable. He couldn't remember who dropped it that time, though. They might have fallen asleep, in all actuality. "Right, then." He leaned away for a second, taking Sirius's quill and making sure it had ink, before setting about looking at the essay. "Let's see what you have here..."

He squinted his eyes at the thing. In all honesty, some of it was barely legible, and he's pretty sure Sirius might have actually written through the paper in other spots, but. From what he can read, it's actually not that bad. "Wow, Pads," he said, "this is almost more well thought out than your normal essays..."

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

Sirius quirked an eyebrow at that, not having expected that reaction. If he was going to be completely, totally honest, he barely remembered what he'd written. "Seriously?" he asked, leaning to glance over at it. "I suppose I'll have to remember to be in a pissy mood when I write all my essays from now on."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

"Or," Remus said, not really wanting Sirius to be in that many pissy moods because he knew Sirius's judgment was really very impaired when he got emotional, "you could just figure out how to channel that and not need to get angry after all. I mean, I'd certainly prefer it if you stayed your normal, jovial self, and I think James and Peter would probably both agree with me on this one."

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

"Maybe I could get a little switch," Sirius joked. "Switch it one way and I'm in pissy essay-writing mode, switch it the other way and I'm back to my normal happy-goodtime-fun self. I bet the professors would abuse the switch, though."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus chuckled, shaking his head at Sirius and making a few marks on the essay for grammar errors and little things that probably must have just slipped Sirius's mind. "I'm not sure that I can handle the innuendo of our professors turning you on and off, Pads..."

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

Sirius blinked, before letting out a loud laughing bark, flopping on the mattress. "Oh God Moony," he said, still laughing. "You just had to put that into my brain, didn't you? Lord, now all these horrible innuendos are in my head..."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus laughed as well, pleased to have made his friend laugh, really laugh, after the way the day had started out for him. He was happy to be able to tell the difference in Sirius's mood, and happy to know that it was him making the choice to talk to him that made the difference. A bit egotistical, but it definitely made him feel good about himself. "Yes, well. Start sharing them and I might just have to spellotape your mouth shut, I'm warning you now, Pads..."

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

Sirius wore a very wide, cheesy grin then, folding his fingers behind his head. "Why, whatever could you mean, Remus?" Sirius said. "Like saying that if I stayed in here too long working on essays, you'd have to come in here and turn me on? Things like that? How about that I'd probably enjoy being turned on, if it meant no more essays?"

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus groaned and grabbed Sirius's pillow, shoving it in the direction of the other boy's face, hoping that Sirius wouldn't see the blush that was spreading across his face through the pillow. "Sirius, ugh!" Remus said, laughing, his face feeling really very hot, "I told you not to go there!"

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

Sirius howled with laughter even as he got a nice faceful of pillow. "What, what's wrong Moony?" he cackled. "You don't like the idea of turning me on every time I'm done with homework? I'm offended, really, you're just crushing me."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus threw up his hands in defeat, groaning at Sirius. "Merlin, why do I even bother with you?"

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

"Because I brighten your day with my warm smile and cunning wit," Sirius said, grinning. "Also, you like turning me on."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus groaned, blushing pretty hard now, and moved away, inching towards the side of the bed. "God, alright, alright, I've got to leave now, if you're going to keep going on about me t-turning you on..."

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

"Nooooo, don't leave me, Moony!" Sirius wailed, although the grin remained. "Without you I will sink into a fit of despair and existential woe. I will then die my hair purple, get all sorts of body parts pierced, and start blasting punk rock at one in the morning the night before exams."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus shook his head at Sirius, though he stopped running away from him in that moment. "You'd better not if you don't want a seriously angry, sleep-deprived werewolf coming after you in the night," he said, joking, but kind of meaning it at the same time.

[why-so-me.livejournal.com]

"I won't, so long as I am kept from soul-sucking angst and despair," Sirius said, unable to even pretend that he was being serious. "But it might be a difficult task, since I'm so serious and all."

[lycanthropy-101.livejournal.com]

Remus sighed. "Well, as long as you quit it with the 'turning you on' jokes, I'll be able to forgive you for the fact that, however your name might be pronounced, serious you definitely are not, Padfoot. Look up 'not serious at all' in the dictionary, and I guarantee there will be a description of a boy quite similar to yourself there."