RL with Remus

[why_so_me]

They day after the virus, Sirius was in the Gryffindor dormitory, curtains to his bed drawn. Inside, he was supposedly working on an essay that was due for Prof. Flitwick about Summoning Magic, and he did indeed have his books open and a quill scrawling across parchment. However, his handwriting had devolved into illegible blots of ink and long scratches that nearly tore through the page. Sirius barely seemed to notice.

He hadn't talked to Remus or James or Peter or really anyone since waking up that morning. It was plain he was in a terrible mood, but he refused to let anyone in on what had happened. Even alone in his room, he glared at the paper.

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Sirius shifted to lean against his headboard. "Yeah. But. It's not a huge deal. I mean it was, what, one day? At least it was a nice day. Just sucks that it wasn't real."

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Remus motioned to the spot beside Sirius, up near the headboard. "D'you mind if I...?"

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"Go ahead," Sirius said, scooting over to give Remus more room to sit next to him.

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Remus shifted, crawling up to sit next to Sirius, being careful not to upset Sirius's ink well on the bed. He settled himself next to Sirius, moving to collect Sirius's essay and put it and the ink well aside for the moment. He took another breath, preparing himself for what he was about to say. "Pads. If it isn't a huge deal to you, then why have you been hiding up here by yourself all day...?"

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Leave it to Moony to rely on things like logic and sense at a time when Sirius just wanted to sulk. "Because," he said, sighing. "Because. I'm just...annoyed at being tricked, that's all. I mean, I'm used to the fact that my family's the way they are. ...I mean, they've always been this way, so I have to be."

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Remus shifted beside Sirius, making himself more comfortable. "Just because they've always been that way doesn't mean that you have to be used to how they are. It's okay to be upset about these things, Pads, you know that, right?" He looks at Sirius warily. God, he doesn't want to make the other angry at him, but. He wants him to talk to him as well, and he can't get Sirius to open up without being at least a little invasive.

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Sirius just shook his head, shutting his eyes for a moment. "I should be used to it," he said. "Because they're never gonna change."

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Remus's heart hurt for Sirius in that moment, as the other boy shut his eyes. He scooted a little closer to Sirius, hesitantly putting his hand on the other boy's shoulder. For all the comforting that he received from Sirius, it was very rare for Remus to be the one doing the comforting. He wanted to make sure that it was alright, before he went too much further.

"Sirius," he said, softly, "you should never get used to people treating you like the way that your family treats you. Ever. You're better than that, better than they ever could imagine..."

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Sirius didn't shy away from Remus' touch on his shoulder if anything, it felt nice, that tiny bit of affection in the face of everything. "You're going to make my head swell too big if you keep talking like that," he said, trying to be joking, but his voice felt flat.

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Remus took the fact that Sirius didn't shy away as an opening, and moved to put his arm around Sirius's shoulders, pulling him closer. "It's true, you know," he said, quietly. "Your parents really don't give you enough credit. I...haven't met them, really, because I know that you've tried to keep them as far away from me as possible, but from what I've heard and seen... They're not nice people, Sirius. It only makes sense that one of the things you'd want the most was for them to be decent parents..."

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Sirius leaned a tiny bit into Remus' embrace, opening his eyes to look at his friend. "I guess," he said, not sure how to handle this. He wasn't exactly the type to go spilling his guts. "I don't care if they're not...decent or do crap like sending candy or taking me to Quidditch matches. I'd just like it if they didn't hate everything I do."

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Remus nodded. "Yeah, I can understand that. I mean, it'd be nice if you could come over to my house sometimes, during the summer, for example. I know that, well, that your parents think less than highly of me and my family, not even knowing about...all the other stuff," Remus said, which of course meant the lycanthropy.

He tightened his arm around Sirius's shoulder when he leaned into him. "You know that none of it is any fault of yours, though, right? That it's nothing wrong on your part, it's all your family and their prejudices, yeah?" If it were Remus himself, he'd definitely blame himself for some of the problems, which is why he needed to reassure Sirius on this.

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Sirius nodded, almost wanting to put his head on Remus' shoulder, but with pride keeping him from even considering the idea. "Oh, Merlin, yeah," he said, voice a little stronger than before. "I mean, they're the ones with all the crap ideas about blood and being better than the entire goddamned planet. Me and Dromeda are the only ones in the family with any sense at all."

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Remus hoped that he was being comforting for his friend. Lord knows how many times Sirius did stuff like this for him, he just wanted to return the favor. The problem was that he wasn't exactly sure how. He'd not really done it before, after all. Sirius was usually pretty good at either keeping them all from knowing he was upset, or just not being upset.

"Okay, that's good," Remus said. It was good to know that Sirius wasn't as down on himself as Remus could get. Remus didn't think he could survive with a family like Sirius's, and thanked whatever gods he could think of that he didn't have Sirius's family, and that Sirius didn't have his issues. "They're still sort of alright with you being friends with James, though, right? I mean, the Potters are an old wizarding family and all, right? Or...do they have something against them now, too?"

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Sirius shook his head, chuckling without humor. "They say the Potters are blood traitors," he answered. "Since they're not, you know, in the same snobby circles as them. They don't like anybody that thinks differently than them, pureblood or not."

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Remus squeezes Sirius's shoulder. "Oh, Sirius. I'm sorry... I'm really sorry that your family's like that..." He wasn't sure what there was to say other than that. Remus was lucky that his family was supportive of his friends and everything he did, but. Remus was half-blood; his mother was a Muggle, and then with the whole werewolf thing... They had to be accepting, or Remus might not've been around today, having been bit so young.

"You know that...if you ever need to take a break, and James's not at home or available or anything...you know that you can come to my place, right? I know you've not really been there before, but. You know you're more than welcome there, right?"

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Sirius smiled a little bit. "Thanks," he said, sounding a little better at the thought of being able to escape from his home. "I'll probably take you up on that...I doubt I'll be there a week before we're all driving each other mad. ...I'd offer the same for you if you ever wanted to come over, except I'm not sure you'd want to meet my family."

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"Sirius, I'd love to meet your family, just to give them a piece of my mind, if I could, and if I thought that that would do any of us any good whatsoever," Remus said, smiling at Sirius a little bit too. "I mean it, though. My parents would love it if you'd come. I've, uh. Well, I've never had friends over before, and all..."

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"Really? Never?" Sirius said, blinking a little. "Well, okay, now I'll definitely have to come over, to break your running streak. And see if your parents can give me any dirt about your nice-studious-voice-of-reason facade."

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"Yes, I suppose you will have to come over, then. Convince them that I really do have friends and haven't just magicked you up from somewhere," Remus said, already planning to ask his parents about it. It was going to be a bit of an argument--they had a tendency to be a little over-protective of Remus, and...well. Remus hadn't told them that Sirius and the others know, so. That should be fun. But that argument would be worth it to have Sirius over for a while in the summer, it would be beyond worth it.

"I don't know what you're talking about, with this facade business, though," Remus said, with a smile. "I've always been the perfect gentleman, since the day I was born." Which was a downright lie, Remus knew. He was an absolutely miserable child the years leading up to his Hogwarts acceptance, because he was so sure that he'd never get in and then he'd have to spend the rest of his life as a recluse, which was difficult for a 9, 10-year-old to really handle well.

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"Well, now that you put it like that, I could always show up and try to convince them I'm some poor random bystander you kidnapped and brought home. Or a Transfigured house elf or something," Sirius teased. "And right, I forgot, you came into this earth having perfect manners and a knack for liking homework. You were probably born wearing a monocle."

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Remus shook his head at Sirius. He was glad to see the other boy feeling better--he was so comfortable with the joking around that he didn't notice his arm was still around Sirius's shoulders. "Despite what you might think, my parents would probably get me into a lot of trouble, if you actually succeeded in convincing them of that. They've seen photographs, though, Pads, so I don't think that's going to really work in your favor."

"And really, a monocle is a bit much, don't you think? I mean, I don't wear a monocle now, do I? Don't even wear eyeglasses. Unless you think that I've regressed and I used to be even more proper before meeting you hooligans," Remus teased.

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"I do think you were much more proper before you met us," Sirius answered, chuckling a tiny bit. "Anyone in their right mind would be a more proper and upstanding individual before spending too much time with us. I wouldn't be shocked if someone who had a halo on their head would have it drop to the ground after a Marauders' afternoon."

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Remus smiles at Sirius. "I hope you three understand and appreciate just how difficult it is to be friends with you and still stay the responsible one, the voice of reason and all. If I wasn't so bloody scared of being kicked out of school if you go too over the top with something, then I'd probably be right along with you, in the thick of things." Hogwarts was Remus's one chance at a normal life, and he wasn't sure if his friends really understood that. They knew he was a werewolf, but he wasn't sure that they really understood what living a life as a werewolf was really going to be like, after it all.

"Really, though, Sirius. I. I would like it if you could come over during the summer. It...it gets rather lonely at my parents house, especially after I've gotten used to having you guys around all the time."

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"Then I'll come over," Sirius said, as if saying it simply made it so. His parents would try to stop him, but it wasn't like they could guard the fireplace and Floo powder twenty-four hours a day. "Probably lots, now that I know I can. And now you don't have to be lonely and I don't have to deal with my demonic relatives."