why_so_me | [RL with Remus]

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[RL with Remus]

Sirius felt a little bit guilty for this. What he was planning was, essentially, a surprise attack. And Remus was probably going to flail like crazy, but. They needed to talk. And Remus had been making it really really difficult to get the chance to talk to him alone.

He knew Remus had been sneaking up to the dorms after everyone else had fallen asleep. So, to make sure he didn't, he'd chugged about three mugs' worth of coffee before he'd headed up, so he wouldn't accidentally drift off. He lay on his mattress, feigning sleep with his face down in the pillow, but his brain was so wired he knew he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. The insomnia was going to suck, but it would be worth it.

He wondered when Remus would finally come up to bed.

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Remus blinked. "Yeah..." he said, sounding completely lost and overwhelmed. "Yeah, it did..." His first kiss. Sirius had just kissed him, and it had been his first kiss, and his first kiss was a kiss from Sirius and all he could think about was that he hoped that there would be more kisses from Sirius somewhere down the road if only he could get his brain to work together with his mouth to make that happen. He kept staring at Sirius, his deer in the headlights look going absolutely nowhere, much to his dismay.

Sirius looked at him for a second, considering whether or not to just lean in and kiss Remus again. Remus still seemed kind of stunned, but. He didn't seem unhappy about any of this. He scooted a tiny bit closer to the other boy before asking, "Would it be okay if I kissed you again?"

Remus looked at Sirius uncertainly. He couldn't believe that this was happening, any of it. More importantly, though, he couldn't believe that he had absolutely no idea what to do. He hadn't the slightest idea on how to kiss someone. "Would...you want to again?" he asked, timidly, trying to get up the gall to come out and say that he just didn't know how to kiss someone, he was probably horrible at it, why would Sirius ever want to kiss him again?

"Yeah, of course," Sirius said, more than a little awkwardly, watching Remus' face intently. He thought kissing Remus had felt nice, had felt good and warm and sweet, even though he'd worried that Remus hadn't wanted it to happen.

He leaned in slow enough to give Remus a chance to push him away if he didn't want to; when there was no refusal, he kissed him slow and soft, just a sweet and simple kiss for right then, for while they were both still adjusting to what was going on.

Remus let Sirius kiss him for a few moments. God it was nice, Sirius's lips were warm and surprisingly soft against his, but... He pulled away just enough space to be able to talk, not pushing Sirius away, but not returning the kiss either.

"Sirius," he said quietly, nervously, "I... I have no idea what I'm doing here. I... I've never kissed anyone before. I don't... I don't know..." He bit his lip, looking so ashamed and embarrassed from only inches away, his voice dropping low. "I don't know how..."

Sirius was a little surprised that Remus pulled away from the kiss, even if he didn't back away very far. He listened to what Remus said, sensing his nervousness and hearing his embarrasment.

"Moony, it's okay," Sirius said, his voice low and reassuring. "I'm not expecting you to be some...I don't know, Romance-Expert-slash-Kisser-Extraordinaire. I mean...I really haven't kissed that many people before. I'm not exactly a master at it, either."

"But..." Remus looked at him, the same expression on his face, not moving closer or further away from him. "What... What if I'm horrible at this...? I. I don't want to be a horrible kisser, Sirius. I don't want you to think poorly of me because I have no idea what I'm doing..."

"You're not a horrible kisser, Remus," Sirius said. With his cheeks turning a little red, he added, "Kissing you is nice. And, I mean, I don't think you're going to suddenly switch to being a terrible, horrendous kisser."

Cheekily, he added, "And, you know, practice makes perfect. So maybe you just need to practice loads and loads."

Remus couldn't help but snort at Sirius's cheek, and he brought a hand up to cover his mouth, embarrassed that he'd just laughed at Sirius. He blushed, although behind his hand, a smile was starting to bloom on his face. "...you think?" he asked, as he slowly, painfully slowly, started to warm up to the idea that this was really happening, and that it was probably the best thing ever.

Sirius chuckled, grinning a bit at the smile that he could tell Remus was hiding behind his hand. "I do think," he said. "Really. And, you know, if you're in need of someone to practice with, you know, I am only one bed away from you in the dorms."

Remus moved his hand away from his mouth, and yes, he let himself smile, let himself finally relax and just accept the fact that even if this turned out to be a dream, it was the best dream ever. "That's true," he said, quietly. "Although... From where I see things... You. You're a lot closer than a bed away right now..."

Sirius chuckled. "That's a good point," Sirius said, and he leaned just a bit closer to Remus as he spoke, grinning like a maniac. "Much closer. I could take advantage of that fact, if you want me to."

Remus swallowed, nodding, and just went with it. To hell with feeling awkward, he was going to feel awkward anyway, might as well just let it happen. "That's very true. You... You could. And... Well. I... I do, so..."

Sirius didn't really wait for Remus to finish his sentence. He leaned in and kissed Remus a little more firmly this time, now that he had his permission to do this. One hand reached up to cup Remus' face, the pad of his thumb tracing over his jawline.

Kissing Remus really did feel good. He liked it, liked it a lot more than he'd ever have thought he would before this week. Funny how his thoughts had changed so much in only a few days.

Remus liked Sirius kissing him. And he really liked that hand on his face. He couldn't help it. He smiled into the kiss, and did his best to kiss Sirius back. It was a little awkward--he really didn't know what he was doing, but for a novice, Remus was actually pretty good at it, reaching up a hand to gently rest on Sirius's shoulder while he kissed him back.

Sirius made a small, pleased noise when Remus began to kiss back, enjoying things even more now that Remus was responding enthusiastically. And he wasn't a bad kisser, despite his inexperience, and his lips felt warm and good. Sirius returned the kiss eagerly, letting his free arm wrap around Remus' back in a chaste embrace.

Sirius's arms around Remus's back prompt him to wrap his own arms around Sirius's neck and shoulders. He's seen it done like this before, and will admit that...it's rather nice, all things considered. He smiled into the kiss. This is utterly mad. Trust Sirius to be such a bad influence on him. They could get caught. James could wake up, or they might get outed in school. Someone might see them, and then the school might make their lives a living hell, but. Sitting there, wrapped in Sirius's arms, kissing him, he couldn't bring himself to care.

Sirius liked this; he liked how warm they were, wrapped around each other, kissing without any anxiety (even though there were two other people in the room....ah well). Despite all his earlier panic and embarrassment, Sirius felt pretty much giddy with how things turned out. Feeling a bit daring, he let his tongue slip a small ways out his mouth into Remus, tasting the inside of his mouth.

At Sirius's tongue slipped into Remus's mouth, he paused for a second, before attempting to kiss Sirius back just as well. It was awkward again, but it was sweet, and Remus loved kissing Sirius. And...he loved Sirius in general. Funny how it worked out. He did start to worry about anyone seeing them, though. Without even thinking about breaking the kiss, or that normal people generally couldn't, Remus reached a hand out, called on the much more wild magic inside of him that came from being a werewolf, and magicked the curtains shut around them, before putting his arm back around Sirius's shoulders.

Sirius chuckled the tiniest bit into the kiss when he realized what Moony was doing. Though it was good of him to think of that, really. He didn't want to think what would happen if Prongs woke up to this.

He broke the kiss only for a moment, stopping to chuckle and catch his breath. "Smart idea, Moony," he said breathlessly. "Not sure I'd want to see what would happen if anyone woke up."

Remus laughed, breathlessly. "Honestly, I'm doing it more for my sanity than for how smart it may or may not be. If James wakes up and catches us... I'm not sure my nerves would be able to take it. I've already had one big shock tonight, and that's quite enough..."

Sirius laughed, resting his head on Remus' shoulder for the moment. "Well, I'd hate to completely fry your nerves in a single evening. So that's all for the best," he teased. "Though, if he were to catch us, I'm willing to bet Prongs' nerves would be a bit shot as well."

Remus tilted his head back to look up, taking in a breath and letting it out. God, he couldn't even imagine what James's reaction to this might be. It was one thing to know that Remus was gay. It was one thing to know that Remus had a crush on someone. It was another thing entirely to find out that Remus had a crush on his best mate, and that that crush was equally returned back to him.

"...what are we doing here, Sirius?" he asked, quietly, his nerves getting the better of him once again.

Sirius blinked, not understanding the question. He leaned back to look Remus in the face, a questioning expression on his face. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Remus turned his face down to look at Sirius, inches away from him, his look searching. "What... What is this, exactly?" he asked. "I... I like kissing you, but more than that. I like you. I... I really like you. I mean. Are you sure? It's... It's not like being with a girl. And then there's James, and. Who knows what he might think about this. This isn't going to be easy." He swallowed again, his eyes suddenly guarded, sad. "You're... You're not going to just try this out for a week, and then give it up if it doesn't work for you, are you? I. I don't think I could take that..."

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