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[RL with Remus]
Sirius felt a little bit guilty for this. What he was planning was, essentially, a surprise attack. And Remus was probably going to flail like crazy, but. They needed to talk. And Remus had been making it really really difficult to get the chance to talk to him alone.
He knew Remus had been sneaking up to the dorms after everyone else had fallen asleep. So, to make sure he didn't, he'd chugged about three mugs' worth of coffee before he'd headed up, so he wouldn't accidentally drift off. He lay on his mattress, feigning sleep with his face down in the pillow, but his brain was so wired he knew he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. The insomnia was going to suck, but it would be worth it.
He wondered when Remus would finally come up to bed.
He knew Remus had been sneaking up to the dorms after everyone else had fallen asleep. So, to make sure he didn't, he'd chugged about three mugs' worth of coffee before he'd headed up, so he wouldn't accidentally drift off. He lay on his mattress, feigning sleep with his face down in the pillow, but his brain was so wired he knew he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. The insomnia was going to suck, but it would be worth it.
He wondered when Remus would finally come up to bed.
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Checking to see that everyone was in their beds and not up anymore, Remus quickly got himself ready for bed, before collapsing into it. He was so tired that not even a minute later, he was already halfway to being asleep.
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He crept off his own bed quietly, barely making a noise. And then, without ceremony, he climbed onto Remus' bed and sat down on top of the other boy's ankles so he wouldn't be able to run away.
"Wake up, Moony."
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"Sirius?!" he hissed. "What... What in Merlin's name are you...?!"
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"We need to talk," he said simply. "And don't worry about anyone overhearing, I put a Silencing Charm on your curtains."
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"...we do?" Remus asked, dumbly, because it was the only think he could think of at the moment.
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He glanced down at Remus, trying to read him for a second, make sure that his assumptions weren't wildly false. It would be really, really bad if he turned out to be completely wrong about all this, and he'd only end up more confused than ever.
"You like me," Sirius said. "Not just as a friend...is that it? Is that why you've been hiding from me all this time? Because you thought I would be angry if I knew about it?"
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"What? No!" he said, really too quickly for it to sound normal for him at all. "No, I. That's not... Why would you ever..."
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"You're a bad liar," he said with a small sigh, his eyes very intent on Remus because what came next wasn't going to be easy to say, and thinking about it make him feel more nervous than he'd been in ages. "Look...there's something I need to tell you, okay?"
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"I think," he said, looking down at the blanket because it was getting really really hard to look Remus in the face right now. "I like you back. ....as more than a friend."
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"...what?" Remus asked, in a very, very small voice, tinged with fear but also...something almost akin to hope. He needed to know what Sirius had really said there. He needed to make sure that he'd heard right...
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Sirius had been wrong, had been completely wrong about everything and now he'd just made a complete ass of himself. Remus hadn't reacted at all, which meant he didn't have a crush, that Sirius was a stupid moron who'd misread everything and had probably just screwed up everything completely.
"Forget it," Sirius said quickly. "Forget I said anything. I'll let you sleep now." He moved fast to get off of Remus, sliding off his mattress and immediately jumping back onto his own bed, diving to go hide his face in his pillow while wondering if he could do a Memory Charm on Remus while he slept.
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It probably took him a full minute before he could sit up and turn to look at Sirius. He clutched his blanket to his chest, needing something reassuring to hold on to as he stared across the darkness to the bed next to his, where Sirius was obviously trying to suffocate himself in his pillow.
"...Sirius?" he whispered, hesitantly, his eyes still pretty wide and his face a mask of disbelief. What was Sirius even doing, there, anyway?
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When Remus spoke, he seriously considered pretending to be asleep. Remus was probably going to tell him it was okay, really, even if he didn't feel the same, which was so not what he wanted to hear.
Eventually, he let out a low "Yeah?" without removing his face from his pillow.
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"You..." He swallowed. He had to keep his voice low--who knew if the silencing charm was really going to work, with him calling across from his bed as he was. "...do you mean it? "
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But he couldn't, because he wasn't that much of a dick. He'd never do something as cruel as toy with his friend's emotions for a joke, or just to get out of an embarrassing spot.
He only lifted his head enough to clearly reply. "'Course I meant it," he answered before shoving his face back down into his pillow.
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Sirius shifted so that he could turn his head to look up at his friend's face. Even in the dim light of their room, he could see the Remus' expression and the deep blush on his face. In spite of himself, his heart actually skipped a beat. Did that mean...?
"Y-yeah," he answered, rolling himself so that he was facing Remus and laying on his side. "Yeah, I did."
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"I... I think..." he stammered, blushing, staring down at Sirius, his eyes wider than ever, and god, he looked terrified. "I... I'd... I'd really like... I'd really like it if...if you... If we..."
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He pushed himself up from where he lay so that he would be sitting facing Remus. Sirius' heart was beating fast, and silently he prayed to anyone who would listen that he wasn't crazy, that he really wasn't misreading everything completely.
Without even waiting for Remus to finish what he was trying to say, he leaned in and pressed his lips up against his in a soft, open-mouthed kiss.
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And he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do. He'd never been kissed before. He'd never even really paid attention to kissing before. He knew that it was supposed to be nice, and that he wanted to do it, and he'd even fantasized about doing it more often than he would ever admit aloud, but. Now that it was actually happening...he really wished that he'd thought to look into it further beforehand.
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He pulled away, detaching himself from the kiss. Sirius sat back a little, looking at Remus, at his expression. Remus was kind of cute when he looked flustered.
"You need to give me something to go off of, here," Sirius said, propping himself up on his hand so he could lean back to look at his friend. "I can't tell if I'm misreading everything, or what's going on anymore."
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"I..." he stammered, shutting his mouth and clearing his throat to try and make his voice sound steadier than it was. "I... Of all the ways I thought you would react to this... I. I never thought... I never thought that you'd do that," he said, absolutely dumbfounded.
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